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Eleanor Holmes Norton
.]] Eleanor Holmes Norton was born in the District of Columbia, and as such is not a true citizen of the United States and can never be president. She says she's a member of Congress, but she has never voted on any bill, so she's probably just a groupie. On July 27, 2006, she had the privilege of being interviewed by Stephen Colbert who, of course, won. Holmes Norton also makes special contributions to the Stephen and Melinda Gates Foundation as well as being an unknowingly secret intern at The Colbert Report. Either Paris or one of its environs, you can't say she is not a staff member of The Colbert Report. Election 2006 Results Claims she isn't a whore and has never been a Republican. She refused to say Dr. Colbert's name correctly; she kept pronouncing the silent "T". Factoids * Says she is black, takling blatant advantage of Dr. Colbert's race blindness * Not American * Part of the first district in the district * Enjoys giving false civics lessons * Falsely Accused Stephen Colbert of being from France * Pronounces "filet," as fill-EY * Continues to undress Dr. Colbert with her eyes, as she has appeared on the Report for nailing a record FIVE times (Get a room, you two). * Will not yield, sir. * She is divorced, therefore Congress is required to ignore her rantings. Walter Reed Subcommittee Holmes Norton is a member of the Congressional subcommittee that asks nosey questions about the Executive Branch and policies The Greatest President Ever has already decided would protect us. Holmes Norton wore a smart woolen sweater over a snazzy jade-green blouse. Voting for District of Columbia Washington D.C. had voting rights when it was part of Maryland, but lost them when the District was Federalized in order to placate the fightin' Northerners and Southerners. Holmes Norton has forgotten our Founding Fathers' battle cry "Taxation Without Representation!" She is still actively engaged in trying to get the vote for the taxpaying citizens of D.C. with a bill called the D.C. Voting Right Act. In 2006, Texas Congressman Lamar Smith set the rest of the Congress straight, sending the bill off the floor with a jujitsu-like argument that residents of D.C. should also be granted the Second Amendment right to carry firearms. Currently, Holmes Norton is fighting to gain the right to vote for citizens of her District, and for the 4th District of Utah, the Eventual Fightin' 4th! This will really screw up Stephen's 435 434 part series Better Know A District, as it will bump the numbers up to 436. She's Got High Hopes Holmes Norton joined Stephen via satellite for a discussion on what rights D.C. residents should have, but the discussion was sidetracked when the Congresswoman suggested that Stephen was too focused on the sex pictures in USA Today to read an article about the potential addition of another Republican-favored district (in Utah) that would balance D.C.'s addition. Relationship with Tom Davis Are they having an affair? Stephen Colbert continues to find an answer to this question. Congressional pages have testified that they have seen "Tom and Eleanor sitting in a tree." What they were doing up there is anyone's guess. Explains The Primaries To Stephen February 12, 2008 * doesn't get to vote ** actually can vote in primaries, but not on the House floor * endorses Barack Hussein Obama * is also a super delegate ** subject to democracy (small "d") ** not The Smoke-filled Room * strong feminist, and civil rights activist * is black and a woman, with no voting record to attack See Also * Norton-hugger